Friday 14 December 2007

THE KING'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Welcome, and let us begin today with a passage from ‘www.bbc.co.uk’, chapter ‘News’, verse ‘English News Merseyside:

An Unholy Row Has Broken Out Over Some

Christmas Lights in Warrington

The Diocese of Manchester has accused the borough council of a secular agenda because a town centre light bears the message Recycle for Warrington.

The diocese has quoted one Warrington church-goer, who it has not named, as saying: ‘To re-brand Christmas in this way with this recycling logo represents a loss of all common sense.’”

‘A loss of all common sense’? Let me just run another quote by you to maybe highlight what ‘common sense’ this un-named church-goer is referring to:

‘believing that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master. This master will then remove an evil force from your soul; an evil force that is present in all humans because a woman made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree, thereby pissing off an invisible wizard who lives in the sky.’

Aha, makes much more sense than trying to remind people to think about how they dispose of the tonnes of wrapping paper and plastic packaging they’ll have to get rid of following the festive period. But, then again, what point is there in caring about the planet really: I mean it’s only a temporary home until we are all – all the good, God-fearing folk obviously – redeemed at heaven’s gate to float about in a fluffy eternity? Maybe it’s even better to pollute – that may explain why a God-fearing country, led by a God-fearing man at the head of a God-fearing administration, produces a quarter of the world’s greenhouse gases and is even now trying to worm its way out of another international agreement that may hinder its continued economic dominance of the globe. Yes, that’s it: the more we suffer here on earth, the greater our reward shall be in heaven. Of course, we’re polluting for God; we’re polluting for us! The quicker we filth it up, the sooner we’ll arrive at the point where our quality of life really does begin to suffer and then, yeah, cool man, we’ll really suffer and, boy, those celestial rewards’ll be so much sweeter.

Having said that, I am a little concerned about what God’s thinking about us destroying his master-work. There must’ve been a lot of work that went into designing all the various flora and fauna that we are systematically killing off, so I don’t imagine he can be too impressed with this blatant disregard that we’re showing them (and therefore him?) in order to garner for ourselves a better after-life. But, then again, he did design us to be the special ones and all fates are pre-ordained anyway – have we been blessed with free-will, or not, I’m confused? – so he must have known it would all come to this. Of course, it all only took him six days to create anyway, so what’s the loss? Soon knock another up if and when required. It’s just like pitching a tent really. A temporary holiday home that we crap all up with our dirty boots and stink all up with our windy farts, but it doesn’t really matter as, at the end of the holiday, the last ones out pull down the tent and follow the rest to that great semi in the sky for some serious, eternal, home-comforts chilling.

But maybe I’m getting a little off-topic here… let us return to the saga of the sheep and shepherds of Warrington, and their battle with the heathen town council…

The un-named church-goer went on to say:

“It is a clear example of a council that has forgotten what Christmas is about. Christmas is not an opportunity for marketing departments…”

Unless that would be the marketing department of Christian churches, who have dominated this season’s agenda since it marketed its way into our souls – in England – in about 600AD or something. Jesus, can we not keep Jesus out of Christmas?!

He just tagged himself onto an existing celebration anyway, one that the church couldn’t erase if it was to be accepted into yet another community and continue collecting those oh-so non-materialistic tithes that keep the bishops regaled in their authoritative, yet pious, finery. Yeah, I know it’s Christ’s name on the packaging, but we’ve been celebrating at this time of the year since time immemorial in order to ward off fear and evil winter spirits, and to give up offerings to various gods to try and ensure a fertile spring, so who can be arsed to changed the name now?

It’d be Christmas, or Winter Solstice, or whatever by any other name. We all know what Christmas means to us, and hopefully we all enjoy ourselves following whatever tradition or custom tickles our fancy, so let’s not begrudge the environmentalists among us easing their consciences by recycling their crap and attempting to promote the benefits to the rest of us.

And here endeth the sermon. If you could all now turn to your hymn-books, so we may all rejoice together in the song, ‘Let’s all ‘ave a Good un, la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la’.

Thank you.

Monday 10 December 2007

WORST SONG LYRIC OF 2007

Well it’s that time of the year again – meaningless-list time – and, not being one to avoid a cliché if it ain’t broke, here’s my contribution:

“A child with no father
Is like a blind man who can’t see
He walks alone in a path
A path of uncertainty”

‘Like a blind man who can’t see?!’ What’s that, as opposed to a blind man with a full 20-20?! I may be exaggerating a little, but it’s almost on a par with rhyming ‘move’ and ‘groove’. You may think not, but you’re not being assailed by this on an iPod that thinks ‘shuffle songs’ means ‘let’s wind the fucker up with another rendition of the stating-the-bloody-obvious song’. And he walks ‘in a path’ too – not a bad skill – I’m sure Charles Xavier’ll be able to find some use for him.

C’mon producer, sort it out! Despite that, it’s a cracking tune – I did buy it f’Christ’s sake. Except I can’t ‘despite that’: every time I hear it again, that lyric jumps out like a professional Ooh-Made-Ya-Jumper. I hear it when I’m not even listening to the bloody tune. It’s gotta go, and this is that first step of the delyric-detox process. I’m already feeling a little cleaner.

Aah better…

Yes, producer, do y’job – produce!!! Either get the singer/lyricist to get his words in order, or dub the pappy bits out. This is not six-million dollar man business – you have the technology…


Thursday 6 December 2007

THE UNEXPLAINED QUESTION MARK

Since coming out on a much wider scale strange things have been happening to me...

Walking to work yesterday, my head lost in music, I had this weird sensation... It felt like something or someone was trying to reach something inside me... The weird thing was that this force felt like it was coming both from within and without at the same time!? Seeing that I have been unable to escape the dark and now proudly proclaim that dark to be light, was God trying to help me find the true light?

I don’t know, but something happened, and it was quasi-religious...

“Maybe I’m wrong.” I said to myself. Quite normal to question, but this is something that I’ve questioned and had resolved for over three-quarters of my life, so my feelings and focus soon returned to the basslines and melodies that had been massaging my mood before being so rudely interrupted by this experience – now known as ‘The Unexplained Question Mark’ – and all was forgotten...

Later that day, as you may have call to do yourself, I was passing a Natural History Museum. Nothing strange in that you might ask, and you’d be right in doing so. No, that wasn’t the strange thing. The strange thing was the bolt of inspiration, moment of clarity, or whatever you want to call it, that hit me or happened as I was approaching the entrance.

Thoughtful and reflective in my opinions and beliefs, yet impulsive in the actions I take, I had no hesitation in heeding this call of clarity...

Forgetting the cries from a bursting bladder and an empty stomach, I veered left – I wanted to see the dinosaurs, I wanted to see the dinosaurs – and, as the first shock of sweat broke the pores of my skin, I crossed the threshold; in more ways than one.

“Excuse me, please, where are the dinosaurs?”

When you’re on the path I was about to take, it’s much better to talk like an eight-year old. Hmm, eight-years old: what did I believe up until that point?

Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, we’re hunting the deenos. The dinos? The deenos! The dinos? The deenos! Not much of a song but it drove my feet forward with a purpose not felt since the waddling march to the toilet following the first coffee and cigarette of the day...

On we go...

Need a weapon; there’s a caveman, there’a club, that’s the winner...

And on we go...

There it is: seven metres of tyrannosaurus rex... Seven metres of synthetic simulation... Seven metres of conspiracy to conceal our true orgins!!!

Seven metres of sin, sin, sin!!!

To a small pile of dust...

Wow! What a feeling...

Let it all out, son, it’s all good...

I'M AN ANIMAL (AND A HUMAN BEING)

Following making the previous post, on both the forum and here, a few comments were made regarding the fact that I mentioned people were hiding, or not more publicly displaying, their atheism. These comments basically highlighted how difficult it is to make the decision to come out, and what kind of thought processes come to bear. The following quote summarises one of those thought processes:

“Am I ‘hiding’ who I am, or simply making decisions that will protect people I love from needless worry?”

And the following is my response to the above quotation and other similar comments about this issue of coming out…

The fact that most if not all of us question our reasons for remaining in the closet or whatever really illustrates, for me, the reason why we should, when we feel ready, come out. Unless we are biting tongues for ourselves to avoid being ostracised, we often keep our views to ourselves in order, exactly as you say, to ‘protect the people you love from needless worry’. If you genuinely fear reprisals that they may suffer as a consequence if you went public, then you need only come out to those that are close to you and enlighten their perspective. As I said in my previous post, if the majority of us remain invisible, it leaves the theists to define ‘us’. Many many people fear what they don’t know, they may even hate this unknown if what they do know is based on definitions created through their own ignorance and terms of reference. The words – theist, atheist – themselves are only separated by a negative prefix, already creating in the mind a sense of ‘us’ and ‘them’. Other words had to be loaded with ideological significance first, but, generally speaking, when white defined black, straight defined gay, man defined woman, the definitions were not favourable to the defined. These people took control of defining themselves, and their status is infinitely preferable to how it was before that time. This did not and does not mean that they pigeon-holed themselves into little boxes that could only perpetuate racist, homophobic or sexist attitudes. Consciousness raising served to boost awareness of how and when this tiny aspect of their character was/is being repressed or oppressed. It gave/gives people pride in this tiny aspect of their character, taught them not to feel ashamed and allowed them to speak out when myths surrounding this tiny aspect were being perpetuated and used to repress or oppress. As these numbers speaking out increased, the heterogeneity of these voices became apparent and their meaningless category became just that, meaningless. People are people: we cannot be placed into little categories. Consciousness raising brings more out to discuss and disagree about who and what we are. These discussions inevitably highlight how different, and therefore how similar in our humanity, we all are. ‘We’ already know this, many others do not. By continuing to debate, in discussions and forums such as these, hopefully our voices will spread to the wider arena, others will see that we are as varied and as human as they are, and that our voices are as valid as any others in society.

Maybe wearing symbols of atheism declares us as people wishing to be defined as such, I don’t know, and it is something that has prayed on my mind since making my previous posting – as I’ve said, I don’t want this to be how others define me – but how are we to highlight that we are out there and that we are normal otherwise? Without these symbols we are invisible. If you want to make a difference, possibly you have to risk pigeon-holing yourself until such a time that this category, as many others, has become meaningless. The fact that you are displaying such a symbol may cause others to question you or to label you, this gives you the opportunity to demonstrate that they are wrong in their perception, and that you are just you. Maybe this is just me: I am not a confrontational person, but I try and defend my point of view when confronted. If I am invisible, there is no need for me to be confronted and my voice – another voice – will not be heard. Maybe the symbols will cause no reaction, but just being seen to be a normal, reasonable human-being will do no harm to the causes of atheists everywhere.

A symbol of atheism shouldn’t be seen as confrontational, just as theist symbols shouldn’t. If they are taken to be so and this is acted upon, whoever they are – theist or atheist, this action deserves to be denounced. This denunciation does not harm the cause: such condemnation actually strengthens it and serves to unite the moderate majority. The Muslim peers who lobbied for the early release of the teacher in The Sudan is a case in point. This type of action serves to highlight their humanity in the eyes of other religions and people, and their commonality with them. It also serves to give moderate Muslims a safe home for their belief. We all know that this action was taken on behalf of Islam. If atheists were to take similar actions in the name of humanity, while not denying our atheism if challenged, it would just illustrate how open our ‘church’ is and, again, would hopefully serve to highlight what we all have in common with each other. It would also give an example to other stigmatised atheists that it is only their humanity that defines them, that atheism means nothing except non-belief in superstitious dogma, and that there is nothing to be ashamed of, or for others to be scared of.

Symbols such as t-shirts or badges shouldn’t – I’m not saying they don’t or won’t in many cases – create or reinforce an us-and-them mentality, but, in many respects, from an atheist’s perspective, there is already a them-and-who-is-us? mentality, so maybe it would be nice to know who ‘us’ is. Discussions such as these are a start, but we are only talking to ourselves: we need to engage others and demonstrate our humanity to highlight that our voices are equal to anyone else’s, but that’s what all this is about at the end of the day, isn’t it?

Tuesday 4 December 2007

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR

This is an edited form of a post I placed on a forum I participate in. The forum is discussing the Out Campaign: if you click on the big, red ‘A’, you’ll see what that’s about. I was basically commenting on this and similar comments that were made regarding the wearing of a symbol to identify you as an atheist:

“There are also atheists who are unwilling to find common ground with theists. Atheists who feel embattled and defensive, aggressively describe the wearing of these T-shirts as some sort of symbolic extended middle finger gesture to theists, implying that if we're not all with them, we're against them. Not all are doing this, by any means … but more than enough of them to make me balk at the idea of being associated with them.

This is just one of the things that concerns me with regard to this whole notion of parading atheism as one unified voice against religion. We as atheists are certainly not all united in our rationale and motivation for opposing religion, nor in our methods.”

No, but we are all atheists. In the face of belief, we are united in our disbelief. This does not make us sheep forming another dogmatic institution. Disbelief can only exist in opposition to belief. As that belief crumbles, as it surely (?) must, disbelief will cease to have meaning. You cannot rally around a blank banner.

We are simply pronouncing our pride in one aspect of our character, whether by our actions or the symbols with which we decorate ourselves, and providing an example for others who are still in the closet that ATHEISM IS NOTHING TO HIDE. Our open minds unite us on this issue, and will divide us on many many others. But, when we do disagree, it will be for genuine reasons, not out of some superstitious rationale, and isn’t that the whole point?

For some a t-shirt maybe nothing more than a ‘middle-finger’, for others it can be a statement that they are not afraid, others may put themselves at risk for wearing it, others... well, there are as many reasons to wear a t-shirt as there are not to. But, if we remain invisible, how will others know we are out there? Unlike victims of racism or sexism, and like homosexuals, atheists can hide, which is why our voice is yet to be heard on a political level. But hiding isn’t really the only issue: we are atheists, but we cannot represent atheism or choose how it is to be represented. There isn’t really anything to represent, except that we are, as everyone, people. We don’t all listen to same music or take sugar in our tea.

Due to the behaviour of some, or many, negative connotations may become attached to symbols of atheism and, therefore, atheism itself. This may again deter people from coming out and releasing themselves. One could argue that the negative connotations are already there, which is why so many of us are, or have been, quiet in the face of religion and the religious. But if many us of are seen, and seen as normal people doing everyday things, barriers may come down even more quickly. No doubt many people will be abused and/or physically attacked as a result of displaying their badge of atheism. Others may get defensive and reinforce their barriers but, at the risk of sounding judgemental, isn’t it more likely to be theists doing the constructing? But, what the hell, this will only highlight their intolerance and/or aggression to others more reason-minded, just as imprisoning a school-teacher for naming a bear Muhammad highlights the ridiculousness of Islamic ‘teaching’. It is this ridiculousness that will (I hope) hasten religion’s decline, not aggressively anti-religious actions that will only serve to strengthen and unite the superstitious.

I am a person, who is also an atheist. I don’t want to fight, but I don’t want to hide this aspect of who I am. In terms of who I am as well, it means nothing – I am who I am. It only takes on any meaning through a theist’s eyes, and if we hide, it is their meaning to control.

Sunday 2 December 2007

IN A WINTER'S SUN

Who are you waiting for – you should be waiting for someone? Are you waiting for me? I think I’ve been waiting for you. You’re sending a message – is it to tell a friend about me, or are you concerned that you’ve been stood up? No, you’re not sending a message, not at that speed. Must have been someone for you. It wasn’t me. Was it someone apologising? What for? If it were, could I comfort you? It would no doubt scare you, as the reality of approaching a stranger petrifies me. You look so in need of company. Sitting to the left of the bench rather than in the middle as a solitary sitter might do. Even if you are not waiting for someone, the fact that you’re positioned as if to invite company suggests an openness of heart and a desire for the company of others. Of course, there could have been someone else sitting there, who has now left, but you are too self-conscious to shift along the seat for fear of ... for fear of something. I could help allay that fear except my presence would arouse a similar sensation.

As a distraction to yourself and to others, your phone is out again. You look over your shoulder. Nervously? Curiously? So easy to misread. Not that it matters; social convention prevents any ice being broken without a pretext. Our need for human contact denied by rules of our own making. I hear your heart beating. Steady, but kicking harder on the second beat as people approach. You’re definitely aware of it and this does nothing to ease your discomfort. We could silence that together if we were allowed into each other, or at least dampen our awareness of it as our proximity heightened the kicks in both of our hearts. It seems so easy, sitting here. All so possible, and it is. You’re a smoker too. So am I. Is that cigarette like the one I’m about to have in sympathy: one to chill a brain that has spent too long on one thought? Or just another distraction as a phone can only provide so much relief? You’re not making it any easier not to like you, and to hate me for obeying rules that don’t exist. I could love you as a friend, as I love you as a stranger. We could make this bench our world. As it is, I am likely to remain a stranger to you. I have felt love today, no matter how fleeting or how unacknowledged. I only had to see you, my friend. You were not hiding. You were waiting for me as I was for you. You only had to look, acknowledge me, but you are lost in your own world as life passes by. I love you for letting me into your world. If only I could tell you how easy it is, but I myself am caught up in my own world and am really no better than you.

Friday 30 November 2007

JEHOVA! JEHOVA! JEHOVA!

Woman gets gang-raped by seven men. Case goes to trial. Woman gets sentenced to 200 lashes and six months in prison.

A teacher’s students (aged seven) decide to name their class mascot Mohammed. Due to the fact she wasn’t a native of the country in which the ‘crime’ was committed and with consideration paid to diplomatic pressure, the usual sentence of 40 lashes and six months in jail was avoided: she will only face 15 days in jail for this heinous act.

Women presenters who wear make-up and do not wear a veil on Palestinian TV have been kidnapped and killed, and live in constant fear for “displaying their charms … and corrupting Palestinian morals,” as a spokesman of the Righteous Swords of Islam justified earlier in the year, adding, without a trace of irony, “if necessary, we will behead and slaughter to preserve the spirit and morals of our people."

The Vatican publishes a ‘scientific’ document that ‘proves’ that condoms have holes that allow the HIV virus to pass through, thus promoting the spread of the virus. This myth is propogated throughout the world by caring missionary nuns, priests and other well-meaning sorts, who are especially active in Sub-Saharan Africa. In this part of the world only 3% of the sexually active use condoms. One in three carry the virus. Two million people there died from the disease in 2007. It’s all the fault of contraception. “The fabric of African life … is threatened by … a contraception mentality,” as the Pope said, again, without a trace of irony, in a speech to African bishops in 2005.

Some of the less rabid reactions to The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins:

I won't pretend to understand all this book, or even claim to have read it in it's entirety but what I will do is denounce this as not only the worst book ever written but the most ignorant, subversive and jaded book of the last century.”

“At the end of the day the world can explain away God till he returns for his own but it won't get rid of him! Neither will these people escape judgement one day.

“A strong faith in the one true God does not command an open mind but faith in the bible - God's word. Sadly Richard Dawkins is a deluded and lost man who like anyone who enjoys and recommends this book is heading straight to hell.

Again, no irony was present in these comments or in the context that surrounded them.

Publisher of The God Delusion in Turkey faces one year in jail for ‘insulting religious values’.

WHAT ABOUT OUR VALUES BEING INSULTED?

But it’s religion, the great untouchable. If the words ‘God’, ‘faith’ or ‘belief’ were not involved in this sham, you could say what you like. People’s points of views are attacked every day, but these points are not ‘sacred’ and are therefore legitimate targets. Lack of blind, ignorant faith in bigoted, superstitious belief systems obviously means you are lacking in other departments of your character too. You are, therefore, not worthy of any respect. Your point of view is worthless and should not be uttered. If self-consorship is not possible, you should be silenced.

Organised religion and the parroting pond-life it breeds are not harmless anachronisms that can be left to their own well-meaning devices. Their influence is as strong as ever, and is enhanced by our misguided passivity and silence. Our voices are not worthless because we do not participate in a patently nonsensical belief system that oppresses, represses and kills. Our voices are worth more, and you know that.

Atheists, agnostics and just those who are able to use their own judgement to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong need to start doing so, now! You are entitled to make this judgement call – they do, and they use a far more subjectively twisted irrationality in order to do so.

Whatever you may think, it is their view that prevails.

We are superior in numbers to them and we may not agree amongst ourselves on everything, but isn’t it time to stop hiding in silence, be proud, and fight against this thing that we (don’t) believe in?

Wednesday 28 November 2007

BARS AND HEADS

Man walks into a bar. Man hurts his head. Bar remains unharmed.

Man walks into a bar. Man orders a drink. Man gets pissed. Man hurts his head. Bar remains unharmed.

Man walks into a bar. Man orders a drink. Man gets pissed. Man walks into a bar on the way home. Man doubly hurts his head. Both bars remain unharmed.

Same man. Same head. Different bar. Same consequences.

My head hurts.

My head’s been hurting for a while. The only cure seems to be a cause. This hurts my head. It’s a cycle of life and, therefore, unavoidable.

I wish I was a bar. A bar can’t do anything, but neither can I. We both seem to remain in stasis.

Bars don’t have heads.

Heads don’t have bars.

I am not a bar, but that’s where I keep going. The bars remain where they are as ever. It’s always me who seems to be doing legwork and getting my head hurt. It’s not fair.

I don’t like bars and I don’t want to be one: I wouldn’t like myself and that’s no way to be.

Hooray for headaches!!!

Boo-hiss for bars (kind of)!!!

Monday 26 November 2007

ATTACK OF THE GIANT BUMBLE-BEE

7.58 on a Monday morning. Been up about 30 minutes. Let’s get it straight: I woke and got up of my own accord. As per usual, sit at the computer with a cup of tea to check the news or splurge a few words that may one day come in useful. Today was a day for words; the creative juices bubbling away nicely. Good, so much better when you have to do it, and not because you have to do it. So, we sits down, open a window and lets the mind wander. Hmm, yes, a few words and phrases seem to be putting themselves together quite nicely, but what’s that?

Psycho fucking builders from flat fuck knows, drilling like there was no tomorrow, but in exactly the same way as he/they has/have been doing for God knows how long!!! What is it with some people and swinging sledgehammers and/or drilling incessantly? There’s been one in every building I’ve ever had the displeasure of sharing with them. Non-stop, all year, banging drilling, drilling banging!!! Nothing else, no sounds of saws or the constructive knock of a traditional hammer. Do they have anything left inside these flats, or are they just smashing everything to pieces to create a one-room shell? Or do they just like creating big piles of dust in order to re-enact some childhood game in? Or are they just irritating fucking bastards who can’t let a man collect his thoughts in a morning, or focus on anything other than this mechanised rendition of a genetically-mutated godzilla bumble-bee?

I know what it feels like, and I know what I feel like doing to him/them. None of it legal, all of it suitable for films such as Hostel, Saw and the like. But you know what gets me the angriest? Of course you do, it’s the same with all anger – it’s the impotence! International football, there’s nothing I can do, so I get angry. Other’s ignorances, there’s very little I can do, so I get angry. Psycho flat demolishers, I don’t do anything because no-one else is doing anything so maybe, although unbelievably infuriating, it’s OK and there’s nothing that can be done except wait for it to finish (it never does!), and get angry!!!

Very angry, and I felt so good 53 minutes ago...

Welcome, Monday morning...

Saturday 24 November 2007

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

not really a rant, more of a pitying whine, though it could turn to a battle-cry by the time we finish. why whine? well, sometimes, do you feel like you're being ground down by conformities of commercialism that creep up and seep into your pores? your creative energy leeched by money-hungry, goal-oriented fucks who'd be better off wrapping their heads in aliminium foil and popping themselves in a microwave oven for 15 minutes at radiation mark 'maximum', or, more fittingly, sinking their self-righteous heads into a font or something, just long enough for them to meet their non-existent maker. what do they know of expression, except that of distaste? sour-faced pricks, fuck 'em all and the cocoon of religiosity that surrounds them. find yourself and let others breathe, you might find a real smile instead of that ghoulish gash you presently flash around. it might give my smile back too.

Friday 23 November 2007

BE SHIT - EARN SHITLOADS!!!

anyone notice the compensation package for mclown? two million pounds!?!?!? not bad for doing a shit job. wish that could be the same for all of us (or at least me anyway): do a shit job, get the sack and then get paid off for the privilege of doing so. no wonder english football's in such a shocking state: too much money and self-interest and almost no regard for, and hence pride in, the fact that you're playing for or representing our nation - wanker$!!!

basically, aside from crouch, who did his job for the whole match, and beckham who, aside from the cross for the goal, at least showed he does have an english heart beating in his chest, the rest were complete fucking pants and deserve our total disdain and whatever else may come their way to bring the arrogant fuckers back down to humble reality.

gerrard - captain marvel, more like captain caveman... lampard – did he think england were playing in blue? carson - well, 22 and under pressure, so maybe not entirely his fault. can't blame him for being picked, can you? the rest are not worth naming as they're a bunch of no-marks and aren't worthy of it. the ones I have mentioned, well, whatever.

back to the subject of money, maybe mclown's not as thick as it seems: get paid shit-loads, only work for 18 months of the contract, get the boot, and go and eat bounties in the caribbean for the remaining 30 months of that contract. almost makes me jealous, except he's a rodent-faced fucker...