Friday 30 November 2007

JEHOVA! JEHOVA! JEHOVA!

Woman gets gang-raped by seven men. Case goes to trial. Woman gets sentenced to 200 lashes and six months in prison.

A teacher’s students (aged seven) decide to name their class mascot Mohammed. Due to the fact she wasn’t a native of the country in which the ‘crime’ was committed and with consideration paid to diplomatic pressure, the usual sentence of 40 lashes and six months in jail was avoided: she will only face 15 days in jail for this heinous act.

Women presenters who wear make-up and do not wear a veil on Palestinian TV have been kidnapped and killed, and live in constant fear for “displaying their charms … and corrupting Palestinian morals,” as a spokesman of the Righteous Swords of Islam justified earlier in the year, adding, without a trace of irony, “if necessary, we will behead and slaughter to preserve the spirit and morals of our people."

The Vatican publishes a ‘scientific’ document that ‘proves’ that condoms have holes that allow the HIV virus to pass through, thus promoting the spread of the virus. This myth is propogated throughout the world by caring missionary nuns, priests and other well-meaning sorts, who are especially active in Sub-Saharan Africa. In this part of the world only 3% of the sexually active use condoms. One in three carry the virus. Two million people there died from the disease in 2007. It’s all the fault of contraception. “The fabric of African life … is threatened by … a contraception mentality,” as the Pope said, again, without a trace of irony, in a speech to African bishops in 2005.

Some of the less rabid reactions to The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins:

I won't pretend to understand all this book, or even claim to have read it in it's entirety but what I will do is denounce this as not only the worst book ever written but the most ignorant, subversive and jaded book of the last century.”

“At the end of the day the world can explain away God till he returns for his own but it won't get rid of him! Neither will these people escape judgement one day.

“A strong faith in the one true God does not command an open mind but faith in the bible - God's word. Sadly Richard Dawkins is a deluded and lost man who like anyone who enjoys and recommends this book is heading straight to hell.

Again, no irony was present in these comments or in the context that surrounded them.

Publisher of The God Delusion in Turkey faces one year in jail for ‘insulting religious values’.

WHAT ABOUT OUR VALUES BEING INSULTED?

But it’s religion, the great untouchable. If the words ‘God’, ‘faith’ or ‘belief’ were not involved in this sham, you could say what you like. People’s points of views are attacked every day, but these points are not ‘sacred’ and are therefore legitimate targets. Lack of blind, ignorant faith in bigoted, superstitious belief systems obviously means you are lacking in other departments of your character too. You are, therefore, not worthy of any respect. Your point of view is worthless and should not be uttered. If self-consorship is not possible, you should be silenced.

Organised religion and the parroting pond-life it breeds are not harmless anachronisms that can be left to their own well-meaning devices. Their influence is as strong as ever, and is enhanced by our misguided passivity and silence. Our voices are not worthless because we do not participate in a patently nonsensical belief system that oppresses, represses and kills. Our voices are worth more, and you know that.

Atheists, agnostics and just those who are able to use their own judgement to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong need to start doing so, now! You are entitled to make this judgement call – they do, and they use a far more subjectively twisted irrationality in order to do so.

Whatever you may think, it is their view that prevails.

We are superior in numbers to them and we may not agree amongst ourselves on everything, but isn’t it time to stop hiding in silence, be proud, and fight against this thing that we (don’t) believe in?

Wednesday 28 November 2007

BARS AND HEADS

Man walks into a bar. Man hurts his head. Bar remains unharmed.

Man walks into a bar. Man orders a drink. Man gets pissed. Man hurts his head. Bar remains unharmed.

Man walks into a bar. Man orders a drink. Man gets pissed. Man walks into a bar on the way home. Man doubly hurts his head. Both bars remain unharmed.

Same man. Same head. Different bar. Same consequences.

My head hurts.

My head’s been hurting for a while. The only cure seems to be a cause. This hurts my head. It’s a cycle of life and, therefore, unavoidable.

I wish I was a bar. A bar can’t do anything, but neither can I. We both seem to remain in stasis.

Bars don’t have heads.

Heads don’t have bars.

I am not a bar, but that’s where I keep going. The bars remain where they are as ever. It’s always me who seems to be doing legwork and getting my head hurt. It’s not fair.

I don’t like bars and I don’t want to be one: I wouldn’t like myself and that’s no way to be.

Hooray for headaches!!!

Boo-hiss for bars (kind of)!!!

Monday 26 November 2007

ATTACK OF THE GIANT BUMBLE-BEE

7.58 on a Monday morning. Been up about 30 minutes. Let’s get it straight: I woke and got up of my own accord. As per usual, sit at the computer with a cup of tea to check the news or splurge a few words that may one day come in useful. Today was a day for words; the creative juices bubbling away nicely. Good, so much better when you have to do it, and not because you have to do it. So, we sits down, open a window and lets the mind wander. Hmm, yes, a few words and phrases seem to be putting themselves together quite nicely, but what’s that?

Psycho fucking builders from flat fuck knows, drilling like there was no tomorrow, but in exactly the same way as he/they has/have been doing for God knows how long!!! What is it with some people and swinging sledgehammers and/or drilling incessantly? There’s been one in every building I’ve ever had the displeasure of sharing with them. Non-stop, all year, banging drilling, drilling banging!!! Nothing else, no sounds of saws or the constructive knock of a traditional hammer. Do they have anything left inside these flats, or are they just smashing everything to pieces to create a one-room shell? Or do they just like creating big piles of dust in order to re-enact some childhood game in? Or are they just irritating fucking bastards who can’t let a man collect his thoughts in a morning, or focus on anything other than this mechanised rendition of a genetically-mutated godzilla bumble-bee?

I know what it feels like, and I know what I feel like doing to him/them. None of it legal, all of it suitable for films such as Hostel, Saw and the like. But you know what gets me the angriest? Of course you do, it’s the same with all anger – it’s the impotence! International football, there’s nothing I can do, so I get angry. Other’s ignorances, there’s very little I can do, so I get angry. Psycho flat demolishers, I don’t do anything because no-one else is doing anything so maybe, although unbelievably infuriating, it’s OK and there’s nothing that can be done except wait for it to finish (it never does!), and get angry!!!

Very angry, and I felt so good 53 minutes ago...

Welcome, Monday morning...

Saturday 24 November 2007

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

not really a rant, more of a pitying whine, though it could turn to a battle-cry by the time we finish. why whine? well, sometimes, do you feel like you're being ground down by conformities of commercialism that creep up and seep into your pores? your creative energy leeched by money-hungry, goal-oriented fucks who'd be better off wrapping their heads in aliminium foil and popping themselves in a microwave oven for 15 minutes at radiation mark 'maximum', or, more fittingly, sinking their self-righteous heads into a font or something, just long enough for them to meet their non-existent maker. what do they know of expression, except that of distaste? sour-faced pricks, fuck 'em all and the cocoon of religiosity that surrounds them. find yourself and let others breathe, you might find a real smile instead of that ghoulish gash you presently flash around. it might give my smile back too.

Friday 23 November 2007

BE SHIT - EARN SHITLOADS!!!

anyone notice the compensation package for mclown? two million pounds!?!?!? not bad for doing a shit job. wish that could be the same for all of us (or at least me anyway): do a shit job, get the sack and then get paid off for the privilege of doing so. no wonder english football's in such a shocking state: too much money and self-interest and almost no regard for, and hence pride in, the fact that you're playing for or representing our nation - wanker$!!!

basically, aside from crouch, who did his job for the whole match, and beckham who, aside from the cross for the goal, at least showed he does have an english heart beating in his chest, the rest were complete fucking pants and deserve our total disdain and whatever else may come their way to bring the arrogant fuckers back down to humble reality.

gerrard - captain marvel, more like captain caveman... lampard – did he think england were playing in blue? carson - well, 22 and under pressure, so maybe not entirely his fault. can't blame him for being picked, can you? the rest are not worth naming as they're a bunch of no-marks and aren't worthy of it. the ones I have mentioned, well, whatever.

back to the subject of money, maybe mclown's not as thick as it seems: get paid shit-loads, only work for 18 months of the contract, get the boot, and go and eat bounties in the caribbean for the remaining 30 months of that contract. almost makes me jealous, except he's a rodent-faced fucker...