SMALL TALK AT 125TH AND LENOX (LEWIS)

“Love it, love it, love it! How do they get away with it?”

“Who? What?”

“Them. That thing. Ya know.”

“What thing? Jesus.”

“Oh, them government types. Them that some vote for to represent us. Moses.”

“Oh, them k-noots. What have they done now? Abraham.”

“Well, it’s all been one of them big summits in Poznan. Joseph.”

“Been discussing stuff, have they?”

“Yes, Mary. It’s all been about taking action on climate change.”

“Action? And what’s come out if, pray tell, you young Victorian pip-squeak, you?”

“Yeah, well, it’s been all finely balanced and that all week, but it’s all concluded an’ that now, Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad.”

“Conclusions and outcomes, like mushrooms and light-shades.”

“Yeah.”

“Buddha, Buddha.”

“I saw a little silhouette of a man.”

“And what have they decided to do, Mark, Matthew, Phillip, Luke and Chewbacca?”

“They’ve decided that ‘discussions will enter full negotiating mode’ at the next big summit in Copenhagen next year.”

“Wow, can’t wait to see what they decide then.”

“Yes, you Confucian spoon-bender, it’s knife-edge stuff.”

“So what do you think’ll be the impact of this great decision, Chapter 3, Verse 10?”

“I have no idea, but I can’t stop talking about it.”

“No, me neither. No-one can.”

If you'd like to know what these guys are talking about, click on this: http://realenglishman.blogspot.com/2008/12/outcome-of-climate-change-summit-in.html

OUTCOME OF THE CLIMATE CHANGE SUMMIT IN POZNAN

1. Work plans agreed for both ‘tracks’.

OK, so a plan has been agreed. Don’t know which one we’re going to follow yet though.

2. Discussions to enter ‘full negotiating mode’.

Classic. They’ve agreed to talk seriously about doing something next time.

3. UN Adaptation Fund agreed.

Money’s available to reimburse (?) countries affected by climate change. Better than actually doing anything about it, I suppose.

4. Programme agreed to improve roll-out of low-carbon technologies.

Blah, blah, blah. National Space Centre.

5. Parameters established of agreement on reducing deforestation.

Cool, we’ve set the limits for an agreement yet to be made.

6. ‘Recognition’ that science indicates need for emissions to peak and begin to decline within 10-15 years.

Aha, and science has said some stuff about emissions or summat.

Now, I don’t know the ins and outs of climate change. I know there are arguments on both sides and I’ll leave that for them to sort out (or come back to another time).

I do, however, recognise bullshit, and the outcome of seven days talking in Poznan definitely has the characteristics of a steaming, bovine dump.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

“Kids today!”

“I know, I know. Did you see on the news about those teenagers that killed that dad who was playing cricket with his son in a park?”

“Oh yeah. That one where they were started shouting abuse...”

“Yeah, the dad asked them to stop and they responded by throwing stones at him. One or two of them catching him on the head before he collapsed and died as a result.”

“Yeah, I know. Terrible. They want stringing up.”

“Did you also see that report on what’s happened to articles 18 and 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights?”

“Er, no. I must have missed that. Is it important?”

“Well, kind of. You see, these articles guarantee ‘freedom of thought, freedom of conscience, freedom of religion, freedom of opinion, and freedom of thought’.”

“...”

“Well, at the U.N. Human Rights Council in Geneva on June 16, 2008, an amendment that can strangle these rights was passed.”

“Z”

“The, er, amendment was proposed and supported by the seventeen Islamic member states on the Council, and also China, Russia and Cuba. Oh, and equally complicit by abstaining were delegates representing the so-called West.”

“Zzzzz”

“Did you see that story about that woman being stoned to death in Somalia because she was said to have committed adultery?”

“Uh? What? Oh yeah, disgusting, and it wasn’t adultery. She had, in fact, been gang-raped by three men. I don’t see why nothing can’t be done about it.”

“Not really our business, I suppose.”

“Oh no, but they come over here; burning our flags, throwing bricks through windows and intimidating people when anything depicting Muhammad in a critical light is said or published. And we do nothing about it.”

“I know, I know. There definitely appear to be some double-standards at work.”

“I’ll give you double-standards! They come over here; building their mosques and authorising the assassinations of artists and authors due to criticising some paedophile from the seventh-century with a god complex. And then, and then, some teacher innocently names a classroom teddy – the name nominated by her class, not herself, by the way – Muhammad in Sudan, and she faced imprisonment or forty lashes!”

“One of the prices of freedom of speech, I guess. You have to take the rough with the smooth.”

“Yeah, well, at least we can discuss things like that, I suppose. At least we’re not living in one of those countries and subject to their laws.”

“You sure about that?”

“Aye?”

“Well, you know those amendments I mentioned...”

For the full story: http://www.iheu.org/node/3336

NEPAL: ROOM FOR OPTIMISM (FOR HUMANISTS)?

It’s nice to hear so much optimism surrounding the election of the Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist) in (ahem) Nepal, especially as the outcome of that vote seems to represent the will of a large group of previously disenfranchised people. It is also sensible for non-Nepalese organisations or governments to engage with the new majority party there in order to encourage and assist it in the implementation of policies that they support.

It being a government that sees the secularisation of society as an integral policy issue that needs to be actively addressed rather than an incidental or non-issue to be actively ignored (as the present system has served them very well so far, thank you), it is natural that the International Humanist and Ethical Association should wish to give these views an international voice and be supportive of the new regime in order for it to hopefully develop policies along Humanist lines.

In terms relating to Humanist principles, this new government appears to tick all the right boxes in terms of:

• Being rational
• Its views regarding religious dogma
• Being democratically elected

However, at the risk of being cynical, I think it wise to be cautious in view of the political ideology that forms this party and in view of some of the things that were said in an interview with International Humanist News magazine in November.

It goes without saying, but, for many, Maoism is as much a dogmatic belief system as any religion and has similarly had large amounts of blood spilt on its behalf. We only have to look at China as an example – which would be logical – to see the consequences of dogmatic political beliefs represented in the growth of undemocratic institutions to defend these beliefs. Institutions which soon betray the intentions and hopes upon which the rise of the party were based. Times, of course, have changed within China and there are no longer the purges that took place in the past, but there is a very real danger to the people of Nepal that similar things could happen there in the interest of advancing the party’s aims.

Although, of course, it always pays to be open-minded, it also pays to put your critical-thinking faculties to good use as well, especially where politicians – elected or otherwise – are concerned, and there are a few quotes that can be taken from the interview in November’s magazine to put fear into anyone’s heart who has lived under an authoritarian regime or anyone who fears for human rights when they hear the words ‘Maoist’ and ‘Government’ used in the same sentence.

Twice, within the interview, Dr. Baburam Bhattarai stated that there was a “need for a cultural revolution” and that “[e]ven after the political revolution is over, the economic and cultural revolution will continue.” I don’t think one can overstate the connotations that the phrase ‘cultural revolution’ may evoke in many people’s minds. One can only hope that lessons have been learnt from history, but history also teaches us that this very often doesn’t occur. Once mechanisms are in place and wheels in motion, where does a cultural revolution stop? Is there an agreed destination or is it just that it ‘will continue’? The road to hell, as they say, is paved with good intentions.

Which leads us to: “we would like to bring in land reform.” Again, borne of good intentions, but again, a policy with a history of high human cost. Relatively successful reforms, however, have been carried out in parts of India, for example, so there is hope that the path is more gradual and less violent than the ones that have been travelled elsewhere.

Of course, there is much to be optimistic about and we shouldn’t blatantly dismiss this new government as, aside from not fostering good relations and good will between people, this may only serve to foster the very practices that are feared, but let us not turn a blind eye to one thing if our interests are being served by another.

I guess my final sentence should echo sentiments that have been much uttered since this government’s election and that is: “The true test of democracy is not the ability to be voted in by the people, but the ability to be voted out by the people.”

Original article appeared: http://www.iheu.org/node/3257

FOOTBALL TALK: NOTT'M FOREST 2008/09

Trying to cheer myself and forget my headache I thought I’d go through our remaining fixtures and predict (based on gut-feeling only (obviously)) how many points we may end up with at the end of the season.

Has it cheered me up?

Has it pluck! Seventeen points plus thirty equals forty-seven points. Equals second bottom if you go on last season’s placings. Equals relegation four times out of the last seven seasons. But, equals safety three times out of those last seven seasons.

It’s going to be (as it is already) a season of stressful Saturdays; of hopes raised and hopes dashed, and, I fear, eventual heartache again, unless...

We do better and turn those one pointers into three pointers.

• Can we? Course we can.
• Will we? As optimistic as any football fan is, I can’t see it.

Or maybe that’s the hangover talking.

Hope so.

Remaining Fixtures

Sheff Utd: 1 (RESULT: 0-1 = 0pts : 0/3pts) -1

Blackpool: 3/4 (RESULT: 0-0 = 1pt : 1/6pts) -3

Southampton : 1/5 (RESULT: 2-0 = 3pts : 4/9pts) -1

Doncaster: 3/8 (RESULT: 2-4 = 0pts : 4/12pts) -4

Norwich: 3/11 (RESULT: 3-2 = 3pts : 7/15pts) -4

Charlton: 0/11 (RESULT: 2-0 = 3pts : 10/18pts) -1

Plymouth: 1/12 (RESULT: 2-0 = 3pts : 13/21pts) +1

Sheff Wed: 1/13 (RESULT: 2-1 = 3pts : 16/24pts) +3

Cardiff : 0/13 (RESULT: 0-2 = 0pts: 16/27pts) +3

Ipswich: 0/13 (RESULT: 1-2 = 0pts: 16/30pts) +3

QPR: 1/14 (RESULT: 2-2 = 1pt: 17/30pts) +3

Birmingham: 0/14 (RESULT: 0-2 = 0pts: 17/33pts) +3

Direby: 1/15 (RESULT: 1-3 = 0pts: 17/36pts) +2

Reading: 0/15 (RESULT: 1-0 = 3pts: 20/39pts) +5

Preston: 3/18 (RESULT: 2-1 = 3pts: 23/42pts) +5

Swansea: 3/21 (RESULT: 1-1 = 1pt: 24/45pts) +3

Watford: 1/22 (RESULT: 1-2 = 0pts: 24/48pts) +2

Burnley: 1/23 (RESULT: 0-5 = 0pts: 24/51pts) +1

Wolves: 1/24 (RESULT: 0-1 = 0pts: 24/54pts) 0

Barnsley: 0/24 (RESULT 1-1 = 1pt: 25/57pts) +1

Bristol City: 0/24 (RESULT: 3-2 = 3pts: 28/60pts) +4

Sheff Utd: 0/24 (RESULT: 0-0 = 1pt: 29/63pts) +5

Coventry: 3/27 (RESULT: 1-0 = 3pts: 32/66pts) +5

Blackpool: 1/28 (RESULT: 1-1 = 1pt: 33/69pts) +5

Southampton: 3/31

Points so far: 17

Predicted Total: 48 (53pts)

47 points equals relegation: 2007/08, 2004/05, 2003/04, 2001/02

47 points equals safety: 2006/07, 2005/06, 2002/03

Stoopid game!

BEAUTY & THE BEAST

Every day, in the mishapen, mutant masks that that morph and ming from the cinema screens to the high-street glossies, we see the results when humans interfere and try to create beauty, so we shouldn't be surprised when we hear of the consequences of the selective breeding programmes of man's best friend. Only saddened, oh, and maybe a little bit angry, too.

However, the picture accompanying the article did draw a smile across my face - you'll need to click on the link below to see it. Who the hell is she to judge the beauty of a dog - has she ever looked in a mirror?

Go on, have a look:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/dec/05/dogs-pets-crufts-bbc-animal

WANNA BE A MONKEY?

"Britain is poised to approve China's application today to become a licensed ivory trader in spite of protests from environmental and animal welfare groups and nearly 150 MPs"

"Ms Ruddock, a highly-respected MP with a strong record on environmental protection, appears to have been given orders from No 10 not to risk upsetting China by opposing the bid"

Isn't this one of the most hypocritical governments you have ever seen. By now, I should be able to believe it, but I can't, I really can't.

Not that any other major party would behave any differently under pressure from whatever interest really has a hand on the reigns of power.

But none of us has the strength to make the 'sacrifices' necessary to remove at least our own little society from the dirty, global back-scratching that goes on in the name of economic progress, so why don't we just return to 'three monkey mode'?

The indigestion that results from swallowing the guilt caused by your feigned ignorance is uncomfortable, but return to the 'Daily Mail' and the pain shall soon be eased.

Either that or accept the fact that much of what we accept as normal is rotten, and the only people that can do anything to change anything is US!

But do what?

Quotes above taken from:http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/britain-poised-to-approve-china-ivory-licence-867621.html

IT IS WHAT IT IS

Didn’t really want to touch upon music too much although it is the passion and obsession of my life. Although semi-consumed with a multitude of thoughts and emotions bang-bashing around inside me regarding it, it being such a personal experience, I’ve always believed commenting on it was one’s way of trying to imprint yourself and your beliefs on a world that is too weak to be content with its own tastes and preferences, or on people who don’t have taste but merely want to fit in (aagh, scum of scum, but I don’t really want to go there at the moment), so I’ve never really bothered. Always happy enough with whatever is rocking my socks at a particular moment.

However, I bought an album recently that, while seventeen years old, highlights some issues in music that were discussed over a beer or two on Sunday evening. So we’re talking about issues rather than a particular album or epoch in music.

The issue being experimentation in music: where’s the line between music that does what it should – moves the soul, body and mind (that’s kind of roughly in my order of preference) – and experimentation-fuelled shite that only says “we’re so clever and funny and oh so original with our lack of adherence to any particular patterns or structures in our music?” So clever that you can see that they’ve enjoyed themselves so much fucking around on whatever pieces of equipment they happen to have in front of them that they’ve forgotten that music, and art in general, is a relationship between the creator and the receiver with both parties gaining something from this interaction. Sometimes I get the feeling that those praised by critics – who the fuck are they? – as being at the cutting edge, pushing envelopes and all that stuff are only interested in themselves and are so self-absorbed that they’re essentially taking the piss out of their audience with their output.

And sometimes I think that without those at the edges for others to follow, music, and art in general, wouldn’t move anywhere particularly quickly and while what they may create may be a bit patchy, hard-going, unlistenable or whatever due to its experimental nature, the fact that they are moving a music or whatever into a new area means that the artists who follow more traditional, consistent structures that make for more solid and entertaining packages are less restricted and have more possibilities available to them, and, therefore, the art-form in question benefits as a whole due to this.

So I guess, if you have any interest in the value of any particular art-form to bring colour and add meaning to our lives, you have to go with the second line of argument though, and this is the ‘though’ that is the point of this piece, I wish more people would recognise that such creations are ‘merely’ examples of forms that are charting new territories and should be listened to or seen as such, and are not things that actually provide much in the way of actual entertainment. Let me repeat: they are fine, and worthy, and necessary, and should be supported, but it is the ones that follow that will benefit most by producing more consistent works that a person out for pleasure will get more from on a day-to-day basis.

NOTHING IS IMMUNE TO CRITICISM. Don’t just say something is ‘good’. Something is good – or bad – for a particular reason: what are those reasons? Savour the good. Accept the bad. Art is not maths: ‘good’ plus ‘bad’ does not equal ‘gobodad’. Some may see more good, some bad, who cares as long as you know where you stand?

OPINIONS ARE ONLY OPINIONS. If you like something, you like something and that is the only reason to like something.

BEING DERIVATIVE SUCKS!!!

Being influenced does not, and it's unavoidable anyway. Experimenting within recognisable – or not – structures moves everyone forwards, backwards, sidewards or whateverwards and means our landscapes are constantly evolving and revolving, and, therefore, new colours are there for us all to enjoy if we are prepared to open our ears and eyes a little more.

THE WORLD'S POLLUTER

OK, so China may oppress and repress a number of its population in order to maintain the running of the country according to its current interpretation of Maoist ideology and, no doubt about it, it’s a sizeable number, with something like 3,000,000 people executed or ‘disappeared’ each year. However, tragic as that figure is, considering the size of the population, it ain’t all that.

How about if it were half of a nation’s population that were repressed and oppressed?

Not possible, is it?

How could that be kept concealed and managed on such a scale?

Surely someone would have to act; that’s abuse on a (half-)nationwide level! No way that that would be tolerated. It would be half of the nation, so outside assistance would surely come to aid their struggle for liberation, wouldn’t it? Well, yes, in the theoretical world I guess it would. But in the real world in which Saudi Arabia – supplier of much of the world’s oil and an adherent, proponent and enforcer of Islamic law – exists, sweet f.a. is done.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about already, I’ll tell you: the ritual oppression and humiliation of the entire female population, that’s what! And why is nothing done about it?

Fucking money!!!

And fucking religion!!!

Those two bastardions of much that is destructive in the world today.

But what can you do about it?

The money thing? Well, we’re all fucking hypocrites living off the back of an oil-based economy. Unless we can remove our own financial support for this economy, which would pretty much mean withdrawing from society in general, nothing’s going to change; why should it? And it’s not just the cars we use – oil lubricates in places we don’t imagine (oo-er, matron) – but everytime we get in a car or on a bus or on a plane, we’re fucking over a half (44.6%) of a country’s people, that’s 12,050,800 people.

And, of course the rest of the shit that’s done in order to maintain our fix of the black stuff, but that’s another story...

Of course, maybe more would be done to put pressure on such oil-supplying regimes to change if it weren’t for the second factor in the equation – the religion thing. Where to begin? I mean, doing something in the name of religion makes it all alright, doesn’t it? It does in the eyes of the religious of the world anyway, and I’m not just talking about Muslims here: religions stroke each other’s penises in order to maintain their stranglehold over their sheep and, therefore, tend to generally keep themselves to themselves. After all, if they debase one religion too much, which is essentially founded on the same bollocks, how long before even the blindest of the blind begin to see holes in their own little Christian/Jewish narrative? So a few – there must be a few, though I’ve seen precious little evidence of this – may bleat on a little about it, but only in terms of ‘how bad their religion is, so stay here with us where you’re safe’; they don’t actually do anything about it.

Who does?

The rest of us, who are either atheist, agnostic, non-practising or whatever? Well, we don’t say anything as we don’t understand religion and it would be wrong to criticise someone else’s faith.

Is it wrong?

Is it?

Is it wrong to speak out and maybe try and do something for people who can’t speak out for themselves due to the physical and metaphysical fear that they have lived with since birth?

Is it?

For a bit of background to this article, follow the following link:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/saudi-women-appeal-for-legal-freedoms-812657.html

ENGLAND STINKS OF SHIT - WHO DO WE BLAME?

Foreigners of course. Anything bad can only ever come from overseas! Fucking hell, is it any wonder that Pythonesque humour came from such a land? And, although the link is to the story as it is featured on Yahoo! news, the story appeared in pretty much the same style in all the newspapers. Newspapers such as the right-on Guardian and Independent, which, yes, I do read by the way. But, would they write in a similar vein about the BO problem being brought in with the latest wave of unwashed immigrants? No, they wouldn’t. Can’t they see that it’s just more of the same scapegoating of all life’s crap? Blame it on Johnny Foreigner and his untreated turds, why not indeed?!

It’s not only shit.

Dirty, disease-ridden, super-stinging, biting bugs that breed in summer’s sun. Hmm, they’re quite nasty, they can’t have bred in England’s green and pleasant land, can they? So where did they come from? Of course, they drifted in from the continent on some wind current or other. My God, praise be that we live where we do. It must be such a cesspool over there. No wonder they all want to come and live here, taking our jobs and claiming our benefits (at the same time – clever bastards!).

We’re so lucky!!!

And they’re so dirty...

Keep England clean.

Keep foreigners and their unwelcome odours away.

Phooey!

It’s all about mental pictures – maintaining the myth – and stories such as these are all part of that tapestry of toss:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20080419/tuk-european-pong-lingers-over-london-dba1618.html

YOU SCRATCH MY BACK AND I'LL ... ER ...

For those who’ve ever woken up feeling a little worse for wear and with a fear over what the blank parts have erased; not to worry:

“[You] were drinking and what doesn't happen when you're drunk?"

Follow link for further details (you could possibly read the rest of the blog before you jump away until next time):

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7353025.stm

So that's where the true spirit of Christianity lay: at the bottom of a glass of your favourite tipple. [puns on the holy spirit and the like may be inserted here]. No mention of forgiveness. No garnering of that sense of self-superiority at having chosen to take the higher ground; just no hard feelings at all.

Whatever innit.

Wonderful.

As Oliver Reed once said to that self-satisfied smug-head, Clive James:

"...the finest people I've ever met were in pubs."

Well, whatever the merits of that actual statement, he definitely wouldn't have met them in a church, where forgiveness feels more like a punishment than an act of charity. Or maybe it is charity cos charity sucks too: something that often feels like it's done more for the sake of the 'giver' than the receiver.

THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BUT ...

“A female Italian artist hitch-hiking to the Middle East in a wedding dress to promote world peace is murdered in Turkey.”

If you need a better comment on the type of world we live in, then... well, I guess y'do, but for me, that pretty much says it all.

No wonder those veneers of cool cynicism we cultivate to cocoon soon harden to finally suffocate the hopes and dreams we once harbored.

Quote taken from:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7344381.stm

THE HOME OF DEMOCRACY

Nobody does corruption like the UK.

“Gordon Brown yesterday won Conservative backing for a move that would allow the government to block future criminal investigations such as the corruption case against the [private] arms company BAE Systems.”

When an opposition party supports the government on an issue that is so obviously corrupt and could play as a vote-winner if exploited properly in the media, you know you’re in trouble.

“[UK High Court] judges said: ‘We fear for the reputation of the administration of justice if it can be perverted by a threat.’”

That threat being, of course, continuing to allow our rulers to block investigations into overtly corrupt practices that are often carried out in our names but are always, quite clearly, solely in their interest. That interest being lining their own, slimy, self-righteous pockets, or the pockets of their fellow, self-serving sleazebags.

The judges went on:

“No one, whether within this country or outside, is entitled to interfere with the course of … justice. The rule of law is nothing if it fails to constrain overweening power."

But what course of justice is this ‘overweening power’ perverting? Isn’t this perversion only necessary when the national interest is at stake?

Hmm, maybe…

Like lining the pockets of the despotic and morally bankrupt rulers of, consequently, one of the most financially and morally corrupt states on the planet – Saudi Arabia – in order to sell the country arms to help them(?)/us(?) achieve some Allahforsaken purpose: guess it’ll have something to do with oil, but that’s a right tangly snake that we won’t even try to unravel here.

Like the illegal invasion of Iraq to destroy WMD’s … er … no … er … to oust Saddam? Yeah, that’s it because … well, he was a bastard, wasn’t he?

And there may be a little connection with oil there, too, methinks.

Anything else…

Maybe awarding peerages to anyone willing to stump up enough money to allow Tony to continuing sending his kids to Catholic schools and still have a little change for the collection plate on Sundays. And also maybe to allow him and his dynamic successor to bulldoze through parliament proposals that, in just over five years, contemptuously piss on liberties fought for and gained over centuries.

Lying to people about the risks in joining company pension schemes, indeed, encouraging them to do so. Result: 125,000 people lose their entire investment. Who cares? No-one.

I could go on but that’ll have to suffice for now. I think these examples do enough to highlight that the ‘national interest’ seems more often than not to be connected to private business and lining the pockets of those with a large enough stake in it. Those with such a stake coming from both ends (are there two ends now, or is that just another fucking illusion?) of the political spectrum. The establishment basically. No wonder they’re collaborating with each other on this one.

They’ve been shitting on us from day one, and they’ll continue to shit on us from now until eternity and you know how they’ll get away with it?

• Immigrants
• Muslims
• Communists
• Catholics
• Suffragettes
• Ravers
• Miners
• The Chinese
• Russians
• New Age Travellers
• Blacks
• Union members
• Hippies
• Students
• Single mothers
• The unemployed
• The bogeyman

Delete as appropriate.

As long as we keep looking at them - us - or having our heads pointed in their – our – direction, they’ll carry on doing what they’ve always done with this scornful impunity, so you’d better smile and enjoy the ride people as there’s nothing else to do. If you try, you can just add yourself to list above and be seen as a cause rather than a solution, and suffer all the infringements on your civil liberty that that incurs.

But, then again, isn’t that happening anyway?

Quotations taken from:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/apr/12/bae.defence

HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL

No trouble on the San Francisco leg of the relay of the Olympic torch; that’s alright then. As spokespeople for the IOC and the Beijing Olympics parroted often enough, it must have just been a few separatists.

Well, I don’t mind admitting it when I’m wrong.

Sorry.

Of course, the fact that this leg of the relay went off without a hitch may have something to do with the fact that they changed the route and kept the bloody thing hidden from view – mainstream media players excepting, of course – for the duration of its proud skulk.

Turning a blind eye doesn’t make a problem go away; it exacerbates it, dickheads! No wonder eighty per cent* of the ‘developed’ world’s citizens are so disillusioned as their disfranchisement becomes apparent. At the moment most of these feelings manifest themselves in cynical apathy (hello!), which is all good in maintaining the status quo, but you can only kick sand in someone’s face for so long before they decide that it’s time to do something about it, so carry on with your blatant disregard for the opinions and feelings of the populace; I just hope you’re ready to reap what you’re sowing. Yeah, I know, this last bit’s slightly naïve, given what hasn’t happened over the last x-amount of years, but you’ve gotta have hope, haven’t you?

So what’s the point of parading the flame if you’re not parading it to anyone, except to a non-discriminatory camera?

The point is, propa-bleedin’-ganda!

We all criticise – quite rightly – the Nazi regime, which incidentally conceived the Olympic flame tradition and were masters of propaganda, just because it provides a convenient distraction to the crap that’s carried out in our names everywhere everyday. OK, they may have been one more step along the bar of bastardy, but we’re on it, too, and unless we make any attempt to move the other way and shift the balance, we’re gonna keep sliding along the trail of shit they leave behind until the incline is so steep that we’ll never get back to bearable bastardy or – who knows – maybe some niceness.

How do we do that without getting off our pacified arses?

Answers on a postcard to...

* The other 17 per cent composed of: Daily Mail or the equivalent readers, those with an ikkle bitty stake in the status quo, the ignorant, and the naïve. The other 3 per cent having a huge stake and just being complete bastards.

I'VE GOT NO CLEAN PANTS TO WEAR

Big news story of the day...

As part of the media's latest campaign to discredit anything relating to Heathrow's new Terminal 5, today's latest scandalous story is about them losing a dead man's luggage...

How bothered do you think he is???

And another thing: who noticed the luggage was missing and reported it as so? Must be the same guy who voted, for example, for George Bush in 2004, Tony Blair in 2005 and Robert Mugabe just recently.

AHA!

So after six months and ten million pounds we discover that Diana was killed in a car accident.

Glad that's all been cleared up.

Apparently, in the next Oliver Stone movie we discover that JFK was killed by a bullet shot through the skull and that humans talk, monkeys walk and fish don't do either.

It's all making sense to me now.

Y'GOTTA LOVE THE FRENCH

Why? Cos they know how to do a protest. Flame extinguished three times and the ceremony to welcome it cancelled. That's how you protest. If only the English weren't, generally, so sheep-like and easy to manipulate. Guess that's why so many of them dislike the French - one of the main reasons why anyone dislikes another: jealousy.

Anyway, a quick link to one version of the story:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7334545.stm

"So the behaviour of a few separatists would not gain sympathy from people and will cause strong criticism and is doomed to fail."

Nice quote from Wang Hui - spokesman for the Beijing Olympic organising committee. Is he referring to The Peckham Liberation Front in the Republic of London, or The Louvre Independence Party in Le Republique de Paris? Both, I guess. They've both been stirring up a lot of hostility lately and no doubt saw this relay as an ideal opportunity to draw the international community's attention to their perceived plight at the hands of their respective Municipal Mussolinis.

BLOOD ON ALL OUR HANDS

Not entirely sure about the proposal as a whole but at least it's some kind of an idea, and you can't really argue with the gist of the piece and, if you do, then you probably don't know me and are reading this by accident.

So, if you've got the time and the inclination, take a look at the following:

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-boycotting-the-beijing-olympics-wont-work-but-heres-a-proposal-that-just-might-805408.html

THE OLYMPIC TORCH

Disgraceful to see so many people willing to carry the torch. Oh, they say that the spirit of the Olympics is peace, not politics, but what about the peace of those living in Tibet? What about, surely, the importance of a host government that reflects that spirit of peace and friendship?

At best, pure ignorance.

At worst, pure self-interest, but at least that would demontrate some self-awareness. At least we know that governments and others are too scared to do or say anything that may harm that most important spirit: the spirit of economic co-operation. Self-righteous, self-serving hypocrites!

Still, given the human rights records of, hmm, let me think, the USA, the UK and all the other sheep nations in the war-on-terror collaboration, and Russia, then maybe we'd all better shut up and look closer to home before we start criticising others.

The spirit of the Olympics is national grandstanding and always has been; why should it be any different now? If you wish to try and make your voice heard and protest against China, then please do so, but don't forget there's been plenty going on at home for the last X amount of years to say something about and you haven't; what's different now?

If you're going to, make the Chinese government the rule, not the exception, and try and do what little you can to obstruct and embarass all bastards on their paths, otherwise it just smacks of, take your pick:

• anti-Chineseism
• bandwagon jumping
  
• cowardice
• ignorance